The Real Programmer’s Bible

Real Programmer

Dank an Plasma für diesen herrlichen Link (pdf, 73 kb). The Real Programmer’s Bible ist zwar im Jahre 1997 entstanden, aber vollkommen an mir vorbeigegangen. Es enthält so viele Weisheiten, dass ich gar nicht weiß wo ich anfangen soll zu zitieren :-)

  • „If you can’t do it in FORTRAN, do it in assembly language. If you can’t do it in assembly language, it isn’t worth doing.“
  • „Real Programmers can write five page long DO loops without getting confused“
  • „Real Programmers like Arithmetic IF statements – they make the code more interesting.“
  • „The problem with these editors is that Real Programmers consider ‚what you see is what you get‘ to be just as bad a concept in Text Editors as it is in Women. No, the Real Programmer wants a ‚you asked for it, you got it‘ text editor – complicated, cryptic, powerful, unforgiving, dangerous.“
  • „[Real Programmers do not use] Source language debuggers. Real Programmers can read core dumps.“
  • „At a party, the Real Programmers are the ones in the corner talking about operating system security and how to get around it.“
  • „A Real Programmer goes to discos to watch the light shows.“
  • „If there is not enough schedule pressure on the Real Programmer, he tends to make things more challenging by working on
    some small but interesting part of the problem for the first nine weeks, then finishing the rest in the last week, in two or three 50-hour marathons. This not only impresses the hell out of his manager, who was despairing of ever getting the project done on time, but creates a convenient excuse for not doing the documentation.“
  • „Real Programmers arrive at work in time for lunch.“
  • „A Real Programmer might or might not know his wife’s name. He does, however, know the entire ASCII (or EBCDIC) code table.“
  • „What of the future? […] College graduates these days are soft
    – protected from the realities of programming by source level debuggers, text editors that count parentheses, and „user friendly“ operating systems. Worst
    of all, some of these alleged ‚computer scientists‘ manage to get degrees without ever learning FORTRAN! Are we destined to become an industry of Unix hackers and Pascal programmers?“

So und jetzt ist das fast wie bei jedem neuen Hollywoodfilm. Der Trailer zeigt die besten Szenen schon mal im vorraus, also braucht man den Film gar nicht mehr sehen … trotzdem kann es euch Geeks nicht schaden das mal durchzulesen (den mitlesenden Mädels schon!) … fröhliches Restwochenende :-)


Beitrag veröffentlicht

in

,

von

Schlagwörter: